Well, this is it. I can’t believe I’m going to die in a frozen meat locker, surrounded by talking hot dogs. Maybe the talking hot dogs aren’t even real, and just a delusion of my strained mind, readily accepting that this is the end.
Of course, it’s all thanks to Rowan for ruining the perfectly normal hot dogs that our boss bought. We were supposed to have a nice company lunch to celebrate becoming the best glass balustrades business in the Melbourne area, and our boss specifically told us not to touch the hot dogs. So what did Rowan do? He immediately opened the hot dog packet, sending each of the meat sticks flying into the nearby river. In our desperation to save the meat, we accidentally pushed the barbeque into the river as well.
While we managed to salvage the barbeque, we’d effectively ruined the company lunch. How else were we supposed to celebrate completing excellent glass replacement all across the city? That was when Rowan had the brilliant idea to go get some more meat from the freezer. I thought the day couldn’t possibly get any worse, so I agreed. And boy was I wrong.
Rowan forgot to hold the freezer door open, and it closed on us. Now we’re trapped in here, slowly freezing. To make things worse, Rowan also broke the thermostat. Apparently, he found these talking hot dogs, too, but I’m pretty sure I’ve actually gone into a coma and am dreaming this whole thing.
Is this blog post I’m writing even real? Probably not. If I had the internet connection to write a blog post, I’d be better off using it to call for help. As this is a highly illogical course of action, it stands to reason that this blog post doesn’t exist at all.
Of course, on the off chance that it is real, please get in contact with Melbourne’s best glaziers, and tell them we’re stuck in the freezer. I’d really like to get out of here alive.
– Mason