Flowers are a serious business

hippeastrums for saleYou wouldn’t think there was such a thing as a flower exam. Well, you’d be dead wrong. If I want to make it into the Royal Florist Association, I need to study and take a comprehensive exam that will test my knowledge of flowers and general floristry. There’s so, SO much to learn, like you wouldn’t believe. They have a handbook that feels like it’s a mile thick, and the test could be on any bit of it. I’m writing this to take a break from learning about flower packing. You know, when you wrap up the flowers all nice in the shop and hand them over. There are three chapters on the subject.

If I never see the word ‘hippeastrums’ again, I may just involuntarily scream. Oh, there are no pictures, fortunately. Pictures of for the feeble-minded people who haven’t seen the flowers in real life, or so they say in the association. We’re expected to know exactly what a frangipani lulus blood looks like, as well as how to grow them, what the going rate is for a single flower and how they work well with every single one of the other thousands of flowers they need you to know about. Oh, it’s not just colour…not always. You can’t put two flowers from different seasons together. That would be an abject abomination, plain and simple. Oh, you’ve made a stunning arrangement that features hippeastrums ringed with trixi big eyes, and it draws all eyes in the room? How embarrassing. I can’t do anything but giggle and whispering behind my hands.

See what I mean? It’s unforgiving. But I take my flowers as seriously as any of them, so this is my chance to prove it and make it all right again. Of course, there’s a practical judging segment. I have the summer flowering bulbs, but they’re being paired with…ugh…frangipani lulus blood blooms. It’s a bold move, but if it pays off, I’ll make it in no problems. Fingers crossed!