Alien Drivers

Warning! Aliens ahead! If you have a fear of aliens or are uncomfortable with the idea of extraterrestrial life on Earth, do not proceed. I’m telling you, it won’t be safe in about two sentences from now. Now it won’t be safe in one more sentence. I’m warning you, this is your last chance to turn away before the aliens arrive!

Okay, now that I have the warning out of the way, I can proceed to tell you about the aliens I saw while driving across Australia, just the other day. It was late at night, and I was driving along a lonely road between Adelaide and Darwin. I had just gotten cooling system repairs from an Adelaide car workshop, and I had the air conditioner blasting after a long day driving in the desert sun. Everything was going smoothly, more peaceful than I’d ever experienced in my car. All of a sudden, a silver UFO shot past me, as if challenging me to a race. I gunned it, trying to catch up, but the UFO was just too fast! Just when I thought I’d lost it, another flew past me. Suddenly, there were all these police cars on the road that I had to drive around, and massive potholes that seemed to go down into the depths of the Earth. Not to mention the boxes. So many smashable boxes!

I’d just recently been to an auto shop for a logbook service near Adelaide, and I didn’t think I’d see another mechanic until I reached Darwin, so I had to drive really carefully. But I couldn’t let these UFOs show me up as a slowpoke either, so I drove as fast and safely as I could manage. In the end, I didn’t finish first when I drove past the finish line, but I did find a shiny gem beside me, possibly as a reward for smashing all the boxes on the road. I don’t know. It was a really strange day. All I can tell you with absolutely no certainty is that aliens maybe, probably exist.