I’ve finally figured out what we’re going to do with all the stuff at Secret Management Business. Call it luck, but I’ve recently come across a magical keytar that does whatever I say, provided I say it in song. So I suppose it does whatever I want, provided that I sing it (while playing notes that work well together). So, taking on the advice from a great office interior design business near Melbourne, I’m going to be sending this stuff to space. More specifically, I’ll be sending it to the moon.
I’m going to walk right into that big storage room and sing, “A bunch of random stuff, send it to the moon!” Just like that, the stuff will vanish and (I assume) appear on the moon. I know this works, and it’s not just some hocus pocus I bought from a dodgy old man with a wizard’s hat. I did buy it from an old man with said hat, but I know it works because I’ve tested it. Right after lunch, I approached my coworker, Jumps, and sang a song about him going to the other room. He disappeared, only to walk through the door a moment later asking what was happening.
Since then, I’ve been sending everything to all sorts of places. It’s pretty amazing, really. That broken vending machine on the third floor? I sent that straight to a company that offers commercial fitouts in the Melbourne CBD. Why? They refused to give me advice regarding all the stuff we have. They said it would be literally impossible to free up room for more stuff. Well, I’m showing them.
I came across a bunch of baby birds and sent them straight to the moon. Don’t worry. I made sure they had space suits, so they’ll be totally fine. I wonder what else I can send to the moon before I start getting rid of all this stuff.