Be Responsible Around Platforms, Kids

If it were up to me to design humans, I think I would’ve given them wings. I mean, opposable thumbs are pretty awesome and I don’t think that’s something I would’ve thought of during the design process. Also, red blood cells. That was a clever move. Those things are AMAZING.

Still, I really don’t see what detriment it would be for all of us to have wings. The world would be a different and much happier place if we could all just take off at a moment’s notice, you know? It’s why I got into base jumping, but even then it’s not something you can do often. And then it gives me weird urges when I’m washing windows, a job I only took because it means I get to be up high. It’s not exactly a jetpack, but standing on top of a really high set of platform ladders is a pretty good feeling. I just really like the wind in my face, plus the fact that I get paid to be up on that ladder is pretty nice.

Sometimes I’m tempted to bring my base jumping equipment, but I haven’t thus far. Probably never will, for a couple of very good reasons: first, that this set of scaffolding isn’t quite that high. Like, not enough for it to be safe. Maybe if I managed to score one of those window cleaning jobs where you hang from the harness and wash the windows of a skyscraper, or one of those mobile platforms…but I’ve been applying for those. They only let you do them if you’ve been in the window washing game for a while. Fair enough, they don’t want people to die or anything.

Oh, and the other reason is that it’d be breaking a ton of rules. Can’t have window washers and painters and construction workers everywhere just leaping off their aluminium work platforms because they think it’s fun. As fun as it would actually be…

-Y. Knight